Seventeenth Sunday after Pentecost
Sept. 15, 2024
James 3:1-12
When I worked for Compassion International, part of my job was marketing and development. One thing I learned in marketing that I found to be particularly important in all aspects of life was that it took a minimum of five positive experiences to counteract one negative experience. The Gottman Institute calls this the “magic ratio.” Other scientific studies show this ratio of positive to negative to be even higher, citing it can often take up to twelve positive responses to counteract the one negative, especially when it comes to words.
A psychological study done in Montreal conducted by Dr. Ilona Jerabek, revealed that verbal abuse caused more damage than physical abuse and although humans are very resilient, the resilience a person had to verbal abuse was less than a person’s ability to rebound and overcome these setbacks who had been physically abused. The short of all this is that words matter. Words harm ourselves and others. And it takes a lot of work to counter these negative effects.
How many of you have heard, “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never hurt me?” How many of you believe this? In their neuroscience experiment, “Do Words Hurt?”, Maria Richter and collaborating scientists monitored subjects’ brain responses to auditory and imagined negative words. During this process, they discovered painful or negative words increase Implicit Processing within parts of the brain. Put frankly, their study proved that negative words release stress and anxiety-inducing hormones in subjects. Additionally, a study found increased levels of anxiety in children associated with higher rates of negative self-talk. Ultimately, negative words, whether spoken, heard, or thought, can contribute to long-term anxiety.
That’s all to say what spiritual leaders and philosophers have known to be true for thousands of years. In what is considered to be the only wisdom literature of the New Testament, James writes about just this thing. That the tongue is a fire that can set the forest ablaze. James points out that we can be strong, we can be intelligent, we can be teachers or CEOs or athletes or truck drivers but we cannot control that one little body part called the tongue.
We know this. It’s nothing new. We have all been on the receiving end of someone’s words, whether intentionally or unintentionally, that have deeply hurt us. Nod your head if you still remember something said that caused you harm years ago. We especially remember things said to us when we were children that may have shaped what dreams we chased for the rest of our lives.
We have also said things that have hurt others. Sometimes we have hurt others by our words and not even realized it. It can be an irritable word to a friend that we have no recollection of saying. Our spouse can come home at the end of a long, hard day, to encounter the other spouse who has also had a long hard day, and the conversation can go south quickly.
And THEN, let’s talk about how we talk to ourselves. Oh boy. Even the Mayo Clinic has research on how negative self-talk leads to profound anxiety and results in poorer health overall. What we tell ourselves affects us mentally, physically, and spiritually. Likewise, what we say to and about others affects us, as well as them. There is usually more than one casualty.
The wisdom book of James talked about these things that scientific research is verifying 2000 years later. Only in much more vivid language. Language, what we use to create our words and sentences, is powerful. James is trying to describe the effect by using imagery, a linguistic device used to create pictures, so we can see in our minds what we are saying. A bridle on a horse, a rudder on a ship, a forest on fire. This imagery is used to help us grasp the magnitude of our words which we speak out into the universe.
James does not hold back, “For every species of beast and bird, of reptile and sea creature, can be tamed and has been tamed by the human species, but no one can tame the tongue– a restless evil, full of deadly poison.”
Spoken words are carried on sound waves. You may think a word is spoken once and is gone, but picture this. The words go out of our mouths and those sound waves roll on long after we’ve said them. Words do travel until air and other solid matter slows it down and the sound waves eventually dissipate into silence. Nevertheless, they reside inside someone.
What makes language so powerful? Or, to use James’ analogy, what makes it possible for a member of the body as small as the tongue to boast of such great exploits? James lays out two reasons for its power. Mark Douglas explained it this way, “First, language acts as a kind of representational catalyst: it is a small and even ephemeral thing that makes big things possible. Second, language can be a wild thing (wilder, even, than any animal species): it does great good and great harm and therein reveals how much it is caught up in the evil of human sinfulness.”
For us here in the church, James also points out a significant problem. “With [the tongue] we bless the Lord and Father, and with it we curse those who are made in the likeness of God. From the same mouth come blessing and cursing. My brothers and sisters, this ought not to be so.” This is of central concern for James, for good reason. Even today, the most frequent reason given by those who don’t come to church is not seeing the love we are supposed to be known by. We praise God and say some pretty awful things about our neighbors and sometimes they are sitting in the pews with us on a Sunday morning. And now that we have social media and don’t really have to look anyone in the eye, or meet them, or even find out their name, we can make memes, mock them, and even endanger an entire community by careless words and cruel speculation. Sometimes it really isn’t funny. What we say, what we text, what we post, matters. And it will matter into eternity and we will be held accountable to it.
Socrates had what he called a Triple Filter Test one should implement before speaking that has been passed down through generations and has become an important spiritual principle. Before carelessly letting words exit your mouth, say to yourself, “Is it true? Is it kind? Is it necessary?” If your words can pass those three layers of testing, then speak. Because if it is truth, spoken in kindness, and is something that needs to be said, then it probably is important. But most often, you can bet that it is better to be silent and listen. Always seek to listen first before firing off your opinion or basing your judgments on mere speculation or assumptions. You cannot come here on Sunday and praise God and leave speaking ill of one another and think it doesn’t matter. Once you put the salt in the water, you can’t make it fresh again, James points out.
The Good News is that there is also power in positive speech. All of those scientific studies I mentioned before also studied the impact of positive words. While it takes more effort to undo the effects of harmful speech, it can be done. And consistent kindness and respect, affirmation and support, can literally change the chemistry of our brains and begin to heal our minds and our bodies. There is health and wholeness when we choose a vocabulary that does not tear down, denigrate, or shame the other. We can disagree. We will. We can even dispute an issue and we don’t have to attack the other person. We can also be right and not insist on our own way and tear someone else down to prove the point.
James began the first chapter in his wisdom letter by saying “You must understand this, my beloved brothers and sisters: let everyone be quick to listen, slow to speak.” The Bible is littered with guidance about our speech. In Proverbs, “The soothing tongue is a tree of life, but a perverse tongue crushes the spirit.” In the letter to the Ephesians, “”Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs.” In 1 Peter, “”For ‘He who would love life and see good days, let him refrain his tongue from evil, and his lips from speaking deceit.’” And the very words of Jesus in the Gospel of Matthew, “I tell you, on the day of judgment you will have to give an account for every careless word you utter, for by your words you will be justified, and by your words you will be condemned.”
These scriptures are wisdom we all need to heed. Wisdom that Dr. Andrew Newberg, a neuroscientist at Thomas Jefferson University, and Mark Robert Waldman, a communications expert, wrote in their book, Words Can Change Your Brain, “a single word has the power to influence the expression of genes that regulate physical and emotional stress.” Over time, given sustained positive thought, functions in the parietal lobe start to change. Consequently, this changes our perception of the self and those around us. Essentially, holding a positive view of ourselves helps train our brain to see the good in others. [That sounds a lot like loving your neighbor as yourself!] Thus, by exercising consistent positive thoughts and speech, we not only change our self-perception, but how we perceive the world around us. Ultimately, this grants us the ability to shape our reality and change the world for the better.”
My friends, our words have power. You can use them to destroy and tear apart or you can use them to build up the Body of Christ. We profess at our baptism and renew our vow at each baptism that we will respect the dignity of every human being. It is scientifically and spiritually proven that we can train our brains to see the good in others. May we remember to speak the truth, may our words be kind, and may we learn to speak only when necessary. We can change this world for the better by the power of our words.
Magdalena's Musings 